Writings of an Owlmoose

Summary: A chance meeting between two of Spira’s greatest warriors — Nooj the Undying and Sir Auron, the legendary guardian — will change the course of history.

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Death Shall Have No Dominion

Chapter Twenty

As he felt the warm comfort of successive curative spells wash over his battered body, Nooj permitted himself to relax and accept the attentions of the two healers who stood over his bed. It was a great honor to have a summoner attend to one’s injuries and Aquelev was so familiar with his personal problems as to be more than excellent in caring for him. Still, it was strange for him to lie there and not struggle against the treatment. Somewhere, back in his memory, he recalled a time when he would have insisted on his own ability to handle his own damage but now it was much easier just to let the magic happen. An alarm bell rang. Had he been poisoned and his will subverted? He jerked up suddenly and was gently pressed back to the mattress by the soft hands of Yuna.

“Shhh,” she whispered. “It’s all right. Paine will be right back. Just be calm.”

Paine. That was it. He loved her and had told her so. She loved him and that had changed everything. He was loved in spite of his … He dozed for a brief time, roused by the touch of metal against his right leg. Someone was cutting off his breeches. Then warm water spread across his chest as another someone bathed him. The edge of the sponge caught on a still unsealed cut and the sudden pain threw him into alertness. He cursed, opening his eyes to see what looked like the face of Auron peering at him. Had he just called his mentor that? Aghast at his insubordination, he started to mumble an apology when it all dissolved into a mist and he knew he had not disrespected the noble guardian. He slept again, waking to the sensation of a coverlet tucked over his body, then subsided into a deep restorative rest much like a coma as his body began the task of mending.

-X-

If Lulu had nurtured any idea that she and Nooj might have a future together, even after his rejection of her advances at the Travel Agency, it had died a quick death when she saw the interplay between him and Paine in the tent. She had been horrified at the sight of his injuries from the fight with the chimera and had lingered at the opening to the shelter in case she might be of some use. That was when she saw the look he gave the woman sitting beside him on the cot and witnessed the reluctant way he let her fingers slip through his.

Something had happened between them. Something which had put him completely out of her reach. She amended that. He was out of any other woman’s reach. Paine had won.

The mage leaned tiredly against the tent pole and let unhappiness sweep over her for a moment before she resolutely turned her face away and put the dream she had cherished firmly out of her mind. It was over, had been for some time and now she must focus her attention on the challenge at hand — the struggle for the soul of Spira.

-X-

Wakka, Lulu, and Tidus gathered around the fire, the last remnants of dinner in their bowls. It had been a fairly sober meal thanks to the knowledge of the approaching battle weighing heavily upon them. Despite some nervousness, Tidus found himself eager to try out the skills he’d been learning, while Wakka and Lulu silently faced the fact that they would not be able to avoid fighting the servants of Yevon for much longer.

As soon as he finished eating, Tidus bounced to his feet. “I’m gonna go see how things are going with Yuna,” he said.

Lulu glanced up. “She’s going to be busy, you know,” she commented, a slight edge in her voice.

He shrugged. “I know. But I want to be there when she’s done. And someone has to keep Kimahri company, right? I’ll catch you guys later.” He headed off toward the tent where Yuna worked.

Lulu watched him go; when he’d disappeared into the distance of camp, she looked back at Wakka and shook her head. “Young love,” she muttered.

“Huh.” Wakka glanced in the direction Tidus had just taken. “You really think so?”

She glared at him. “Don’t you ever pay attention to anything? Yes, I think so, and I’ve thought so for a long time. It worried me, at first, that Yuna was getting too attached to him, and vice versa. I thought he was unsuitable, and a distraction from the pilgrimage.” She huddled into herself, wrapping arms around her waist. “But now that she has a chance to live… I don’t know. He certainly seems to make her happy.” Her next words were almost inaudible. “Happiness. Something she can finally hope for. I– I’m glad for her.”

Wakka looked carefully at the mage, who had turned to stare pensively into the fire. “Lu? You okay?”

She said nothing, only twisting her head in what might have been a half-nod. Wakka knew better than to press her and so only shifted slightly closer, to provide warmth and hopefully comfort with his presence. He was about to propose that they call it a night when another person joined them at the fire.

“Sir Wakka? Madam?” Beclem crouched down next to Wakka. “Do you have a moment?”

“Please,” said Lulu, gesturing in welcome.

“Thank you.” He sat on the ground, crossing his legs and leaning forward. “I’ve been meaning to come find you both for days now, but what with one thing and another I’ve never had time. But since the Commander is indisposed, there’s no council meeting tonight, so I thought this would be a good time to talk.”

“About Chappu?” Wakka asked.

Beclem nodded. “Unless you don’t want to hear?”

“I do.” Lulu spoke with firm certainty. She raised her eyes to Wakka. “If that’s all right?”

The blitzer nodded at her, then to Beclem. “Yeah. Anything you can tell us. Like, how did you know him?”

“Luzzu introduced us. He and I enlisted at about the same time, went through training together, and served in a couple of operations. So when Luzzu convinced Chappu to sign up and brought him–”

“Whoa, hold on a second.” Wakka’s brow furrowed. “Luzzu did what?!”

“He convinced Chappu to enlist.” Beclem sighed. “You didn’t know.”

“No!” Wakka glared at Lulu. “He– how dare he– Hrrrmph!” His hands balled into fists as he half stood. “If he were here, I’d give him a piece of my mind!”

“I already did that for both of us,” said Lulu, voice low. “He told me just before we left Besaid. I slapped him, and then I heard him out. It’s not his fault, Wakka. Chappu approached Luzzu and asked about enlisting. It was his idea, even if Luzzu did encourage him.” She lightly rested a hand on Wakka’s tight fist and drew him back down. “Nothing you can do about that right now. Come, sit, listen to the rest of the story.”

Wakka sunk back to the ground. “Yeah, okay. Sorry ’bout that.”

“It’s all right, I understand.” Beclem considered Wakka gravely. “Shall I go on?”

The other man nodded. “Please.”

“So, Luzzu introduced us, and we became close friends right away. I suppose we mostly bonded over blitz at first — I’m from Luca, and though I never played professionally I’ve always enjoyed the game. So we’d kick the ball around whenever we had time. Keeping sharp, he always said, so he could go home and win you the Cup when we beat Sin.” He nodded to Lulu at that. “He talked about you a lot. Both of you. He missed you, and loved you very much. That’s why he joined up, you know. For you.”

Wakka grunted. “If he wanted to do somethin’ for us, he coulda stayed home and stayed safe.”

Beclem shook his head. “He didn’t see it that way. He told me once that as long as Sin lived that you, Lulu, would go on pilgrimages, either to help some other summoner defeat Sin before Yuna was old enough to try, or to be her guardian yourself.”

Lulu looked at the ground. “And he was right,” she whispered.

“He wanted to get Sin before Sin got you.” Beclem’s pale blue eyes caught and held Lulu’s for a long moment. “It was all he cared about, keeping you safe. He didn’t want to die, but he thought it was worth it, if he had to.”

Lulu let out a laugh that was half a sob. “Foolish boy. That foolish, foolish boy. Didn’t he understand that I felt the same way about him?”

Without looking, Wakka reached out and took her hand. She grabbed back tightly, the old grief rising up again, lessened by the knowledge that it was shared, both between them and with this near-stranger sitting with them at the fireside, the same sadness evident in his face.

“We were at Djose.” Beclem looked into the distance, his words also seeming to come from long ago and far away. “Testing some machina weapons — we were both part of an secret experimental squadron that used them exclusively. There was another squad there, too, carrying swords. Sinspawn had been sighted in the area, so it was meant to be a practice run, a drill, but we didn’t get them all in time and… Sin came. And smashed us. Dozens of Crusaders were there, and only five survived. All but one were from the machina-using squad, but that was just coincidence. It was terrible.” The words stopped as the memory closed his throat.

“I’m sorry, brudda.” Wakka reached out with his other hand and rested it on Beclem’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” Beclem focused back on Wakka then, smiling. “I have better stories, happier ones. I’m sure you do too.”

“Sure do,” Wakka replied, dropping his arm as well as releasing Lulu’s hand with a final squeeze. “Did Chappu ever tell you ’bout our first tournament?”

“No. Tell me.”

Wakka launched into the story, which was followed by another, and soon the three of them were all talking and laughing, their conversation lasting well into the night.

-X-

By the time Auron emerged from the tent, discharged from his duties as nursing assistant, full darkness had fallen, and he realized that he was rather hungry. After a quick glance around the camp, he found a fire that still had food ready and waiting. By fortunate coincidence, Paine was waiting there as well. She sat alone, warming her hands on a hot cup of tea, staring into it serenely. Someone had thrown a cloak around her shoulders; otherwise, she seemed not to have moved since her arrival in camp.

The crunch of boots against snow caught her attention, and she turned around at his approach. “Uncle.” She moved aside as he sat next to her. “How is he?” she asked.

“Better. Sleeping. He was never in any real danger, except perhaps from exhaustion. Lacerations, burns, a broken rib or two. He should be up and about tomorrow. Aquelev would like to give him another hour or so of complete rest, but he says you are welcome to visit any time after that.” The healer had actually asked for two hours, but Auron doubted Paine could be kept away for so long. He cast a critical eye up and down his niece. “Were you hurt?”

“Oh, right, the blood.” She glanced down at her encrusted leathers. “No, I’m okay. None of this is mine. I was binding up the worst of his cuts and things got a little messy.” A small, distant smile graced her face for a brief moment, and Auron was reminded of her expression earlier that evening, of the way she and Nooj had looked at one another as she’d left him to the healers. It seemed likely that something had changed between them in the forest today. It was not his place to ask what, so he stood, served himself a bowl of soup, and then sat next to Paine, eating in silence as she finished her tea. He would wait; if she wanted to talk, she would. He had polished off the last bite and was contemplating a rare second helping when she finally broke.

“So you’re sure he’s going to be okay?” Concern floated through her expression as she turned to him. “He was awfully banged up.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Auron chuckled “He was calling me creative names when I hit the sore spots. Anyone who shows that much spirit when he’s badly wounded will heal just fine.”

Paine laughed. “Thank you for helping,” she said shyly. “I’m sure you have much better things to do than fetch potions.”

“We all pitch in to heal the wounded,” Auron said. “And I could do no less for the man who saved your life.” The girl flushed, and he stifled another laugh. But he allowed her to see his smile, and her blush deepened. So, there was something she wasn’t telling him. Had her life ever really been in danger? Auron scanned her face and decided not; more likely, Nooj’s attack on the chimera had been a misguided attempt to look more of a man in the eyes of his lover. A decision that so strongly proved the opposite that Auron would have started to seriously question the youth’s judgment, except that he rather thought that the young commander might now have a new and compelling reason to keep living.

He considered her for another moment, then decided to give her an opening. “Paine? You’re sure you’re all right.”

She looked up, biting her lip in a failed attempt to suppress a smile. “Fine. More than fine, really,” she admitted. “Nooj and I had some time to talk and we… we came to an understanding.”

Auron poured himself a cup of tea, refreshed Paine’s mug, took a sip, and waited some more.

“Did he really promise you that he would stop seeking death until the battle with Yevon is finished?” The question came out in a rush, words tumbling over one another.

The guardian lifted an eyebrow. “Not precisely,” he said. “Is that what he told you?” Paine nodded, and Auron fell into thought. Nooj had only promised not to directly involve the army in his quest to die. If he had strengthened his oath for Paine’s sake… yes. Nooj had found something other than duty to live for, and Auron was glad to see it.

“Good” was all he said before he settled back into silence, and the two of them spent the next hour in quiet companionship.

-X-

Nooj awoke when Paine bent over him to kiss him before she left. He reached up to pull her back to the bed. “Where do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you.” He tightened his grip and she laughingly sprawled across his body.

“Let go, you lecherous beast. I’m going to get breakfast. All that exercise has left me starving. You want to come with me?” She disengaged herself and tidied her hair.

“Yes. Hand me my clothes.” He started to throw off the covering sheet.

“I can’t find any. Oh, yeah… The ones you had on when you came in were tossed — for obvious reasons — and there doesn’t seem to be anything else in here.” Paine looked back from her search to leer happily. “Come on as you are. I don’t mind. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

He returned her expression. “Do you really want to share me with the other females in the mess tent?”

Paine hurled herself back on the bed and embraced him enthusiastically. “You have a good point there. I’ll just run out and find you a dress or something and be right back to escort you to breakfast.”

“Hurry, wench. All my appetites are huge.” He swatted her on her backside and sent her on her way, reluctantly.

With a contented sigh, Nooj lay back against the pillow and relived the early morning hours. When he had wakened the final time after the ordeal of the healing, he had opened his eyes to the smiling face of Paine, sharing his pillow, and the light pressure of her hand on his chest.

“Your heart is still beating.” She had sighed and snuggled against him. He had submitted to her attentions with a greater grace than to those of the professionals and found that love had its own curative magic to weave. The memory made him smile and shift restlessly against the sheets.

The healing spells cast on his bruised and lacerated body had had their effects and he was feeling relatively comfortable. There were the usual pains and aches to which he had become accustomed in the time since his encounter with Sin, but they were overlaid by the sensation of well-being generated by the shared avowals with Paine. Paine. He could not whisper the name often enough nor remember her words too often. She loved him! She had said so and proved it to his complete satisfaction. And he loved her. He wondered hazily how long it had been since he had loved anyone. He could not remember a time in his life, since the death of his parents, when he had felt uncomplicated love. Kaith? But he had been a child then, exulting in his physical perfection. What he and Paine shared had been won through struggle and loss. He basked for a moment in that knowledge. This wonderful woman, his counterpart and equal, the only woman on Spira for him, somehow created and placed within reach and now it was certain that they were to be together … His mind suddenly recoiled from the next thought. For how long? He still had a tryst with Death, one which was only postponed, not canceled. For a long moment, he let the embrace of the Dark Desired enfold him and bring him the comfort it usually afforded.

He shook himself to cast off the shadow and directed his memories to his latest bout of swiving with Paine. They understood one another so deeply and knew so well what pleasures each could offer the other. Their bodies fit exactly, as if they had been destined for union. Perfection. He continued in this line until certain physical manifestations made it necessary for him to hastily turn his attentions to other thoughts. It was with some relief he heard steps just outside the tent. Could Paine be back already?

It was Yuna who entered the tent. She tiny-stepped up to the bed, looking — in the morning light — more like a simple, ordinary girl than the awe-inspiring figure of power she had been in the flickering of the torches the night before.

“Are you well today?” She asked softly, her mismatched eyes examining him acutely, as though they saw beneath his skin.

“Yes, my Lady.” He modestly pulled the sheet up over his bare chest, hoping that perceptive gaze was not reading his most recent thoughts. “I must thank you for your efforts in my behalf last night.”

“No need for such formality. I’m happy to have been of use. You certainly seem much better this morning. Unless you have some damage I don’t detect, I think you’re quite fit enough to resume any activities you feel like doing.” She smiled and patted his shoulder.

“Thank you, my Lady. That is welcome news, indeed. Lying around useless is no pleasure to me. When Paine,” he blushed slightly, “returns with a fresh uniform I intend to be about my duties.”

Yuna put on a more stern expression, hiding her amusement. “Just take care. You’re very valuable to us.”

She was gone before he could shape an answer, gliding past the stunned figure of Aquelev who was just lifting the tent flap. As he straightened up from his profound bow, the Al Bhed stammered, “That was Lady Yuna? She makes house calls?”

“That was Lady Yuna who has just given me a release from this hospital of yours. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to make sure you hadn’t taken a turn for the worse after we left you last night. You were pretty much of a mess, you know.”

“I am entirely aware of that. I was on this side of the treatment. Now you’ve seen I’m fine. Take a look outside and see if you can spot Paine. She’s gone to find me some clothes since you people threw away what I was wearing.” Nooj pushed the sheet back down and relaxed.

“Believe me, Commander, you would not have wanted to put back on what we had to cut off. Even if we could have found someone to wash them, those pants were nothing but rags. Just try to be patient.” Aquelev was surprised to see his old friend still in a jovial mood. It was unlike the saturnine and self-contained Nooj he had known for so long.

“How long can it take to find a spare Crusader uniform in a camp teeming with Crusaders?” Nooj snarled the words, but his heart was not in it. The image of Paine bullying some supply officer out of an unrequisitioned set of tunic and breeches made him grin.

“You seem content enough today. Sleep well?” Aquelev asked with a lift of an eyebrow. He had peeked in much earlier in the morning and seen the pewter spikes sharing the pillow with the dark braids, and considered his suspicions of the night before to be confirmed.

“You might say so.” Nooj leaned back and closed his eyes, a remembering smile curling his lips.

“Your ribs giving you any trouble? In case you forgot, you broke two and cracked another. The lady has a strong grip, eh?” At the hint of a frown appearing on his friend’s face, Aquelev hurried on. “Was it her idea you let us patch you up last night? Come on, Nooj. We’ve been through a lot together and you can trust me. Did you take my advice and make nice with Paine?”

“A gentleman never discusses his lady.” Nooj said with smug satisfaction.

“So you did! By all the aeons of Spira, I’m glad. She’s the pick of all the women I’ve met on this planet and she’s too damn’ good for you, you gloomy, foul-tempered bastard!”

Nooj grinned, “You’re jumping to conclusions just because I let you practice your unholy arts on me last night without twisting your head off.”

“Why couldn’t you have been that cooperative back in Luca? I used to have to practically beat your head in to be able to cast a single heal on you.” Aquelev knew when to change the subject. He had pushed as far as his friend would tolerate.

“I remember. People change. I was done in last night and needed some help, so I accepted it like a proper soldier. A man who is too damaged to fight is no use to an army.” He proclaimed this absurdity with a pompousness which astonished Aquelev who was still not totally familiar with what passed for humor from Nooj.

The Healer shook his head in disbelief. “I never thought I’d hear Nooj the Undying say that. I suppose next you’re going to tell me you’ve given up Deathseeking?”

The atmosphere in the tent changed as though a door leading into a warm lighted room had been slammed. The face of the man on the bed became cold and forbidding while the eyes behind the spectacles grew hot with anger. “I still hunt what I have always hunted.” The image of the welcoming arms of his vision rose before him and obscured the worried face of his friend. “You have gone far enough, Aquelev. Don’t trespass any further on our shared past and our friendship. Go now. I would like to be alone.”

-X-

Extra uniform in one hand, hot beverage in the other, Paine made her way back to the tent. She stepped lightly, almost bouncing. The world was fresh and new and she was more content than she’d ever been. Later, she would allow herself to think about the various unpleasant realities she still faced, but for now simple happiness seemed best.

As the tent came into sight, she saw Aquelev exiting it, moving quickly, brow furrowed, and she took a detour to intercept him. “Something wrong?” she asked. “I only left him for a few–”

“No, no.” The healer waved her off. “He’s fine. Lady Yuna gave him a clean bill of health, so as soon as you get him those clothes he can return to duty.” He leaned forward as if to continue walking, and then he paused, contemplative, fighting a battle with curiosity that they both knew he was doomed to lose. “So, what did you do to him?”

Paine affected a mock-innocent air. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, the smile playing around her lips giving the lie to her words.

Aquelev snorted. “Please, give me some credit. I’ve been healing Nooj for years, or trying to anyway, and I have never seen him offer so little resistance to my attentions. Something unusual must have happened out there.”

Still smiling, Paine considered telling him the whole story. Part of her was bursting to share her knowledge of Nooj’s love for her with someone, and Aquelev was a likely candidate. But she also felt shy about it, hesitant to speak. Would the delicate truce she and Nooj had reached survive the intrusion of another? She thought probably not.

“I give you plenty of credit.” She bumped him lightly with her elbow. “Enough to figure it out on your own.” The Al Bhed groaned in exasperation, and she decided to throw him a bone. “I will tell you one thing, though. As we were making our way here, the adrenaline wore off and he started hurting quite badly. And not only did he accept the pain medication, he actually asked me for some.” Off Aquelev’s stunned laugh, she walked on, grinning, and disappeared into the tent.

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