Comments on: DSHnD: Chapter Three http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/2008/05/dshnd-chapter-three/ KJ's Fiction Archive Sat, 14 Jan 2012 22:14:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: auronlu http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/2008/05/dshnd-chapter-three/comment-page-1/#comment-1927 auronlu Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:42:39 +0000 http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/?p=78#comment-1927 The different reactions of Yuna's party work very well. I especially like Tidus getting to be the voice of sanity here; he is, in fact, but doesn't often get a chance to shine in fanfic. Lulu's rationalism at odds with her faith is exactly right. All the dialog in his section feels especially in character: Kimahri sounds like he's speaking lines from the game. Yuna's initial response seemed a bit passive, but her response to Auron after she's had time to think -- and her sharp question -- are the Yuna I know. (Alas, so is her naive proposal.) The incident with Nooj's friends trying to coddle him and his outrage at all of them are sharp bits of characterization, showing their bonds and lines of communication as well as miscommunication. I love Gippal's exaggerated apology and Baralai's quieter speech. Typo: "Her voice trailed away" needs a period. The different reactions of Yuna’s party work very well. I especially like Tidus getting to be the voice of sanity here; he is, in fact, but doesn’t often get a chance to shine in fanfic. Lulu’s rationalism at odds with her faith is exactly right. All the dialog in his section feels especially in character: Kimahri sounds like he’s speaking lines from the game. Yuna’s initial response seemed a bit passive, but her response to Auron after she’s had time to think — and her sharp question — are the Yuna I know. (Alas, so is her naive proposal.)

The incident with Nooj’s friends trying to coddle him and his outrage at all of them are sharp bits of characterization, showing their bonds and lines of communication as well as miscommunication. I love Gippal’s exaggerated apology and Baralai’s quieter speech.

Typo: “Her voice trailed away” needs a period.

]]> By: Writings of an Owlmoose :: Entries :: DSHnD: Chapter Four http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/2008/05/dshnd-chapter-three/comment-page-1/#comment-96 Writings of an Owlmoose :: Entries :: DSHnD: Chapter Four Wed, 28 May 2008 05:50:27 +0000 http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/?p=78#comment-96 [...] Previous Chapter ~ Main Story Page ~ Next Chapter [...] [...] Previous Chapter ~ Main Story Page ~ Next Chapter [...]

]]> By: Writings of an Owlmoose :: Entries :: DSHnD: Chapter Two http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/2008/05/dshnd-chapter-three/comment-page-1/#comment-94 Writings of an Owlmoose :: Entries :: DSHnD: Chapter Two Wed, 28 May 2008 05:40:58 +0000 http://www.owlmoose.com/fic/archive/?p=78#comment-94 [...] Previous Chapter ~ Main Story Page ~ Next Chapter [...] [...] Previous Chapter ~ Main Story Page ~ Next Chapter [...]

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